Will You Judge Me?

I am toying with an idea, whether I should put something on my blog

Its to direct people to a fantastic page about some friends who have helped me.

But you would also meet me, but I’m not looking at my best 🙂

So what would you do? Go :p in the face of society and not care about being judged…..or

Would you hold it back and hope your friends get enough coverage on their own x

I will sleep on it

It all comes down to the fear of being rejected by society. How silly to feel this way

Love to all x

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AMAZING PEOPLE AND AN AMAZING DAY

Today i have spent time with some amazing people and it’s been an amazing day!

So why so weary?

I feel a little emotional now as people keep telling me I’m an inspiration, but I don’t see why. I’m just doing what anyone else would do.

This question is causing a little conflict inside me because if this isn’t what a normal person would do then why not? That plays on my mind and will always continue to be painful to understand. The only way I have found to be comfortable in my own skin is by helping others.

I think that’s why I get on so well with all the people at the Trussell Trust. They keep saying thank you to me but isn’t that backwards. They were the ones who fed my family in their hours of need.

Do you know just how fabulous they really are, and me doing that interview/story on the BBC about how my family has been struggling, has actively made people phone and donate 😀

I am very humbled to think people could relate to our situation enough to give and care. That’s the world I want to be in, one where we all can be assured that no matter what if something happens someone will be there to catch you. And when you’re back on your feet you would do the same.

Having my children has been the biggest adventure yet and Rowan my disabled son has been a great teacher too. The amount of pain my son goes through on a daily basis with his neck or hip must be very hard he just laughs or plays and has fun. That’s the real inspiration, not me.

A very kind lady today said considering I’m so ill, I look very well (love her) and how do I do it?????? um ????

I keep being asked how do I find the strength to do what I do. That’s easy I just look at my son and see the milestones he has crossed. That baby boy, who they said would never walk or talk….

Is now running free and laughing with Mummy x x

No Essex “Boss” Will Get The Better Of Me :P

I first realised that I needed to contribute financially to my household when I became aware of the increasing pressure that was being placed upon my husband. This was due to the mounting costs of living and lack of people spending in his particular area of business.

The problem was after receiving many knock backs from would be employers because of my health complications; it became apparent that there was no way any employer would risk taking me on, as my health quite regularly takes a nose-dive for prolonged periods of time. After another “No thanks” from a would be boss, I decided it was “TIME TO TAKE MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS X X”

Late that night, when I was unable to sleep for the pain of my condition, combined with care for my disabled son, I had a moment of clarity. It was then that I hatched a radical plan that would not only be able to help my family, but I would be able to extend that help out to the wider community… right across Great Britain.

Well we received £7500 in the form of a business loan (low interest) from an organisation called Impetus Marches, in Shropshire (very nice people). They awarded the loan after revising my business plan and agreed that it was a fantastic venture and they would be proud to be a part of it.

That money was enough to buy a laptop, pay for the website and a bit of advertising. Not bad for a girl with no formal qualifications under her belt hey 😉

I searched for days looking for the best programmers my money could buy and just by chance I found Quantum Web Solutions, Shrewsbury, Shropshire. A fantastic bunch with an impressive portfolio including some work, which they had collaborated with the Dragons Dens business enterprise (an example being http://www.thepresentclub.co.uk). With sucha great pedigree, I thought “What could go wrong?”

Oh Jesus…..

Hindsight is always 20/20!

I should have figured that something wasn’t right when my first designer walked away from the company. I thought this could be a problem.

Then the second designer I was allocated walked out and left.
I KNEW there was a problem!

Quantum kept assuring me that everything was fine they were just having a staff overhaul………

But my gut instinct said otherwise. My Nan and my Dad (who died when I was 7) were very wise and strong people. My Dad a grafter and my Nan was a fantastic judge of character and this whole situation suddenly smelt very, very fishy. They would have spotted it a mile away and if I didn’t have their qualities I wouldn’t have realised what was happening to me and maybe even lost more of my hard won money.

So yet another night when I couldn’t sleep (shock horror) I decided to put into our friendly neighbourhood company into Google

‘Quantum Web In Financial Trouble’

OMG IMAGINE MY BLOODY HORROR L

All this information started to come up about how in fact they had liquidated not only once but also twice leaving some people in financial ruin………….NEARLY ME AND WHY???????

The knock on effect this has had on my family. Getting so close to my dream of becoming something wholly self-sufficient and that my children would be so proud of… and then have it all snatched away.

When I went down to the quantum offices the next day, they were shut… odd for the middle of the week. A few days later my husband also paid them a visit, and the offices were still shut and empty of all staff. After numerous failed emails (they kept bouncing) Quantum eventually replied, and when questioned on the recent goings on they denied it was a shady way of doing things??????

I am still fighting for a copy of my site that I paid for, but instead of doing that or answering my they are hiding behind emails and filtering them. Funny thing was, when I got my brother to pose as a new customer, they answered the email within half an hour!

I really should have known that the whole thing was a con and these people are pros at what they do because a few months later I was watching a episode of hustle and they explained that before a big business deal is sealed you usually find the owner claiming he has just completed another big venture and its going to make him very rich……………………….WHY DIDN’T I SPOT THIS AS IT IS EXACTLY WHAT THE OWNER SAID TO ME

They day I first met Quantum’s team I met THE BOSS YOU KNOW ‘THE BOSS’ ;P The way they introduced him I nearly wet myself but people with power and all. That’s why if I make it I will never forget my roots.

So after a dramatic pause in waltzes ‘THE BOSS’ and pretty soon he was boasting about sealing a big deal and becoming a partner with the company that makes the on-board black boxes for commercial aeroplanes.

If I could turn back time, I would go and visit myself, walk right up to me and slap myself with the biggest fish I could find. WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING???????

But because they had been used on the Dragons Den and there portfolio was amazing and I was sneaky I checked all the source code of the actual sites to double check it was their work……..How could it go wrong.

Well it did they liquidated because ‘THE BOSS’ LMAO didn’t pay £700.000 in tax so he was forced onto liquidation by the HMRC.

But hey it’s ok they are doing something similar AGAIN but this time it’s not web design… it’s web hosting! so that’s obviously going to turn out fine, isn’t it 😉
All of this has taught me two things…….. be careful of whom you do business with and trust no one completely………It’s business not a friendship.

And the best remedy for Hitting rock bottom is getting back up and starting again. Just like my son does if he can do it I can x x

So now you know my dream and some of the ins and outs of Genie. But how am I going to get there?
Well, several different organisations have looked at my idea and agreed it will work

All I have to do is find the funding again but in the form of a grant.

The help is out there, I just need to stay positive and by writing this blog and telling everyone what I am doing will hopefully help others if I am successful. Or they will at least learn not to trust Essex guys with fat belly’s and dodgy laughs (THE BOSS) lol

So tomorrow I have several numbers to contact regarding funding I will post these numbers up and rate how helpful they were to me and whether they may help you x